Tom Brady Is Battling Swamp-Ass One Towel At A Time

BYAlexander Cole5.4K Views
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Tom Brady
A true gentleman.

Faithful HNHH readers, this was the day I always feared growing up. As a life-long football fan, I never thought I would have to write about Tom Brady and his distaste for the wet butts of his teammates. For fear of being labeled as "sus" by the likes of you Chad commenters out there, I have to preface this by saying I don't co-sign what I'm about to write about, just stating the facts.

Okay, now that we've got that out of the way, let's talk about Brady's biggest fear out on the field: swamp-ass. You're probably thinking to yourself that such a hindrance is natural and couldn't affect how you play that much. Well, for Brady, it's a big deal. In a new piece from The Athletic, Brady's centers confess to how Brady wanted their butts dry so sweat wouldn't touch the ball when it was snapped. This led to some interesting tactics, or antics depending on how you see it.

“I have actually tried to train my body not to sweat,” center David Andrews said. “So, I would sit in the sauna and just try not to (sweat). It didn’t work.”

Damien Woody also chimed in on this story offering up a similar tale. “As a center, I’m like, hell, my job is hard enough. I got to snap the ball. I’ve got a 300-plus-pound man on top of me," Woody explained. "You’re just going to have to deal with the swamp ass.”

Another center, Dan Koeppen, said Brady used to stuff a towel down his pants to reduce the swamp ass. Brady would even pour baby powder down the pants of his centers to get everything dry.

So there you have it, kids, if you want to win six Super Bowls like Tom Brady, you're going to have to become a stickler for swamp-ass. Otherwise, it's gonna be a long, sweaty, stinky career for you.


About The Author
Alexander Cole is the current Managing Editor of HotNewHipHop. He started at HotNewHipHop back in 2018 where he began as a Sports and Sneakers writer. During this time, he has shown an expertise in Air Jordans, Yeezys, and all things that have to do with Nike. His favorite kicks are the Air Jordan 1 High OG, the Air Jordan 4, the Air Jordan 6, and the Adidas Yeezy Boost 350 V2 in the "Beluga 2.0" colorway. Although his collection might not be the biggest, he is always looking to add new styles to it. When it comes to sports, Alex has a particular interest in the NBA and the NFL. His favorite teams are anywhere LeBron goes, and the Kansas City Chiefs. As a Montrealer, the Montreal Canadiens hold a special place in his heart, even if they haven't won the Stanley Cup in his lifetime. Alex also works for the Concordia Stingers, where he provides play-by-play and color commentary for the football, hockey, and basketball teams His favorite hip-hop artists are Kendrick Lamar, Playboi Carti, Travis Scott, and Lil Uzi Vert.
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