Lil Nas X Shares "Life Story" & Reveals Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Breakup With BF

BY Erika Marie 4.2K Views
Link Copied to Clipboard!
Rich Fury / Staff / Getty Images
Lil Nas X, Depression, TikTok, Suicidal Thoughts
The "Old Town Road" icon detailed the struggles he faced before and during fame that people may not know about.

Prior to becoming the record-breaking, chart-topping, viral sensation that he is today, Lil Nas X was living with relatives and trying to figure out the course of his life, as many young people do. We all witnessed "Old Town Road" make waves in the country arena before it was openly rejected by fans for not having enough twang for the genre, thus creating a social media controversy that would prove lucrative for Lil Nas X and his "Old Town Road (Remix)" collaborator, Billy Ray Cyrus. 

Emma McIntyre / Staff / Getty Images

On TikTok, Lil Nas X released a series of videos where he explained some of the struggles he faced before fame. He talked about how he was in college and feeling depressed, and to make matters worse, his grandmother passed away. "I started going to the doctor a lot in fear that I would die soon… hypochondria. In May 2018 I started making music."

Then, the rapper explained that things were going well and he moved in with his sister, but later, she kicked him out, one of his brothers went to the military, and he moved in with another brother where domestic violence was witnessed regularly. His music wasn't gaining any traction—and then, the "Old Town Road" mania ensued. Lil Nas X relived coming out as gay at the height of his fame but revealed that behind the scenes, his mother wasn't doing well in rehab as she battled her addictions. 

At the time, Lil Nas X was also hit with a lawsuit over an old song and he said he'd broken up with his boyfriend, as well. There was a time when the rapper admitted to being suicidal, but he decided to press forward. Check out the four videos he's released thus far below to read through the rapper's story.

 

 

Reply to @brownwillywonkatiktok PART 3 👨🏾‍💻

Reply to @reasonablyparanoid PART 4 🖤

About The Author
Since 2019, Erika Marie has worked as a journalist for HotNewHipHop, covering music, film, television, art, fashion, politics, and all things regarding entertainment. With 20 years in the industry under her belt, Erika Marie moved from a writer on the graveyard shift at HNHH to becoming a Features Editor, highlighting long-form content and interviews with some of Hip Hop’s biggest stars. She has had the pleasure of sitting down with artists and personalities like DJ Jazzy Jeff, Salt ’N Pepa, Nick Cannon, Rah Digga, Rakim, Rapsody, Ari Lennox, Jacquees, Roxanne Shante, Yo-Yo, Sean Paul, Raven Symoné, Queen Naija, Ryan Destiny, DreamDoll, DaniLeigh, Sean Kingston, Reginae Carter, Jason Lee, Kamaiyah, Rome Flynn, Zonnique, Fantasia, and Just Blaze—just to name a few. In addition to one-on-one chats with influential public figures, Erika Marie also covers content connected to the culture. She’s attended and covered the BET Awards as well as private listening parties, the Rolling Loud festival, and other events that emphasize established and rising talents. Detroit-born and Long Beach (CA)-raised, Erika Marie has eclectic music taste that often helps direct the interests she focuses on here at HNHH. She finds it necessary to report on cultural conversations with respect and honor those on the mic and the hardworking teams that help get them there. Moreover, as an advocate for women, Erika Marie pays particular attention to the impact of femcees. She sits down with rising rappers for HNHH—like Big Jade, Kali, Rubi Rose, Armani Caesar, Amy Luciani, and Omerettà—to gain their perspectives on a fast-paced industry.