Billie Eilish is getting down to the nitty-gritty about her struggles with body image and self esteem, even confessing that she's "never felt desired" in any of her past relationships. The 18-year-old Grammy winner covers the July/August issue of GQ available on Friday (June 5th), in which she opens up about feeling "trapped" in her body and public persona.
“Here’s a bomb for you: I have never felt desired," Billie revealed. "My past boyfriends never made me feel desired. None of them. It’s a big thing in my life that I feel I have never been physically desired by somebody. So I dress the way I dress as I don’t like to think of you guys–I mean anyone, everyone–judging it, or the size of it.”
“That doesn’t mean that I won’t wake up one day and decide to wear a tank top, which I have done before,” she clarifies. “Sometimes I dress like a boy. Sometimes I dress like a swaggy girl. And sometimes I feel trapped by this persona that I have created because sometimes I think people view me not as a woman.”
“I have never felt powerful in a relationship," she continues. "I did once and, guess what, I took advantage of that person’s kindness. I wasn’t used to it. It’s been months and I am not attracted to people anymore. I don’t know what’s going on. It’s actually kind of dope.” She also comments on how the mention of her name has become "clickbait," which has caused her to ease off of social media. “I am clickbait at the moment. Anything with my name on it or anything I say or do can and will be used against me," she states. "I don’t watch people’s [Instagram] Stories, I quit Twitter a couple of years ago, I look at the occasional meme and I feel bad that I don’t post more, as the fans want it, but I have nothing to post. Honestly. Zip.”
“The thing I realized recently is this: when you get to a certain level of fame or notoriety, it doesn’t matter what you say or do, you are a certain level of known. You will be super hated. And super loved,” she points out. “There are a million people who don’t like Beyonce–and I don’t know how the hell you can’t love Beyonce. Same with Rihanna. Same with Trump–people actually like that fool.” Late last month, Billie officially released the short film she had debuted while on tour called "Not My Responsibility," in which she calls out the hypocrisy of body shaming.