In 2013, Diddy officially delayed his birthday by 12 days. (ATTENTION!!!!! MY BIRTHDAY IS NOV 4TH BUT THIS YEAR ONLY IM CHANGING IT TO NOV 16TH. THE 4TH CAME TO EARLY IM NOT PREPARED! IM TIRED, MY SWAG IS OFF AND BOTTON LINE IS IM JUST NOT READY!") Like Diddy's numerous iterations, this change was temporary.
Today is Diddy's 48th birthday.
How shall we celebrate Diddy's birthday? By paying tribute to his most endearing quality: his wonderful sense of humor. His style: leveraging his natural charisma at the service of tongue-in-cheek declarations that simultaneously self-deprecate and self-affirm Diddy's ironclad belief in himself—the same that brought him obscene wealth and motivated him to run the New York City marathon—freed him to indulge his weirdest comedic impulses. Hip hop has no shortage of comedians—e.g. Eminem, ScHoolboy Q, Vince Staples, Tyler, the Creator, Cam'ron, Action Bronson—but even among these luminaries, Diddy stands out. One of the biggest difference between him, Jay Z, and Dr. Dre, the three rap moguls pursuing membership of the three comma club, is that he is funny as fuck.
In some ways, the the only hip hop figure who rivals Diddy's comedic mind is 50 Cent, a.k.a. the man who promised to donate $750,000 to charity of Floyd Mayweather, the talented and possibly illiterate boxer, could read one page from Harry Potter book. It is fitting that the Great Vodka War Of 2015 pitted these two men against each other. The War wasn't about vodka at all. It was about ego, wit, and showmanship. Hilarity ensued.
Diddy arrives at Quavo's birthday party in car, leaves in boat
Earlier this year, at Quavo's birthday bash in Miami, Kamaiyah witnessed Diddy execute a rare feat of vision, wealth, and daring.
Puffy came to quavo's party yesterday in a car and left on a boat Idk what kinda grand theft auto life that nigga is living but it's lit 😭
Diddy reclines on Met Gala steps
This year's Met Gala will go down in history for A) inspiring a diabolical collaboration from Gucci Mane and Offset, and B) the moment when Diddy broke off from Cassie to lay down on the steps of the red carpet. Later in the evening, he posed for a photo with the Jenner sisters, Wiz Khalifa, Migos, Travis Scott, and Jaden Smith for a photo, only to crop out the Jenners on his Instagram post so as to secure a portrait of black excellence.
I was getting tired so I laid down on the stairs!!! #METGALA pic.twitter.com/VvIePzdpPG
"bring me the mote control" pic.twitter.com/ulm3t7ya83
Diddy blesses “You Could Be My Lover” music video intro
The "You Could Be My Lover" music video begins with a shot of Diddy brushing his teeth and reading the message he scribbled in Sharpie on his bathroom mirror: "Rule #1 of life: do what makes you happy!" This intro features narration that originally comprised "Happily Ever After," an interlude on his mixtape MMM, but it is much better when paired with a montage of Diddy out on his morning constitution: sipping tea on his waterfall, walking his dog, tending to his flower bed, shooting hoops, and prancing through his yard.
The full transcript:
"Once upon a time, a prince asked a beautiful princess, "Will you marry me?" The princess said no, and the prince lived happily ever after. And he rode motorcycles and fucked skinny, big-titted broads, and hunted and fished whenever the fuck he wanted, and went to naked bars, and dated women half his age, and drank whiskey, beer, Captain Morgan, and snorted cocaine off strippers' asses, and never heard bitching, and never paid child support or alimony. And ate pussies and ass-fucked cheerleaders and kept his house and guns, and never got cheated on while he was at work, and all his friends and family thought he was fucking cool as hell, and he had tons of money in the bank, and he left the toilet seat up. The end."
Diddy brings original copy of Declaration of Independence as his date to party
The most politically active period of Diddy's career came in 2004, when he launched his "Vote or Die" campaign into action. That summer, at his annual white party soirée in the Hamptons (among the guests: Al Sharpton, Aretha Franklin, and Paris Hilton), he underscored his political message by arriving with an original copy of the Declaration of Independence he'd borrowed from television producer Norman Lear.
''No one would ever expect a young black man to be coming to a party with the Declaration of Independence, but I got it and it's coming with me," he told the New York Times. ''And I promise not to spill champagne on it.''
Diddy wears the best costumes
Diddy showed up to Beyonce's Soul Train-themed 35th birthday party rocking the hair and blouse of a disco queen (maybe Donna Summer?). The following month, he assembled a sublime black Thor costume for Halloween, deviating from his CIROC Boys theme to promote DeLeon tequila.
.@iamdiddy and @CassieSuper at Beyoncé's Soul Train-themed birthday party. pic.twitter.com/05U8D5ITTR
One night in the mid-'00s, a (probably) inebriated Diddy delivered a PSA, letting the world know that, even though Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Simpson had spoken of the clear pores bestowed to them by the powers of the acne medication Proactiv, he was the true Proactiv OG.
"You all know damn well that Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Simpson was not using no Proactiv," he informed the camera." Diddy wore Proactiv. Now you’re all into skin care products. Now, you see, now y’all think it’s official. Well, I got a secret. I was up on Proactiv for seven years. That’s why I got this silky smooth cocoa butter skin. So Lindsay, Jessica, you’re late. You should have followed my pretty ass from the beginning."
Diddy flabbergasted by $1 bill
Diddy was counting his money courtside at a Knicks game last year when he unexpectedly pulled a $1 bill out from a wad of Benjamins. Never has he looked so confused.
The first time P Diddy touched a $1 bill 😂😂😂 this is making me laugh so much 😭 pic.twitter.com/9NmKWDTJjB
Diddy leaps bull in CIROC Super Bowl commercial
Diddy starred in a two-part CIROC Super Bowl spot in 2012. In the first half, he donned the uniform of a matador and gracefully leapt a charging bull.
In the second half, he moonlights as a curling bowler; he slides a stone down the ice with the focus and precision of a neurosurgeon. PERFECTLY SMOOTH.
Diddy roasts Pharrell in “Get Him to the Greek”
Diddy's greatest film performance came in Get Him to the Greek, in which he plays the hot-tempered label executive Sergio Roma. Roma is fabulously wealthy (he owns villas from Brazil to Tahiti), and has little time for his employees' half-assed A&Ring—though he does have time to roast Pharrell's pink shirt.
Making the Band 2
No one in of the colorful cast of aspiring rappers and singers on Making the Band 2 held a candle to the long shadow of Diddy, who famously sent them on a fool's errand to retrieve a slice of strawberry cheesecake from Junior's in Brooklyn and return to it to his office in midtown Manhattan, by foot.