Some of the most iconic works in rap history have been scathing diss records. Hip-hop heads frequently cite Tupac Shakur's "Hit 'Em Up" as one of the greatest diss tracks of all time, and verses such as Kendrick Lamar's on the Big Sean track "Control" have inspired many rappers to sharpen their pens and prove their capabilities. However, for every "No Vaseline" that serves as a show-stopping example of a rapper eviscerating their opponents, there are many duds that fail to impress fans or inspire awe. Here's a look at 7 of the worst diss tracks ever made.
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7. MC Hammer "Better Run Run"
MC Hammer gained fame for creating the chart-topping single "Can't Touch This" but failed to secure his financial future, ultimately falling out of the public consciousness. Unfortunately for the parachute pants-wearing rapper, this 2010 diss aimed at Jay-Z failed to reinvigorate his career. Hammer delivered the track after taking offense to Jay-Z referencing him on the Kanye West track "So Appalled."
On the track, Jay raps "Hammer went broke, so you know I’m more focused" in an apparent reference to the "Can't Touch This" rapper's financial failures. Instead of acknowledging that the lyric served as an accurate representation of his financial status, MC Hammer took it upon himself to film a music video with less production value than an average TikTok, featuring milquetoast lyrics like "Yo Jay, I got a reasonable doubt. If I knocked on your door, would you come on out?”
6. Canibus "J. Clone"
Canibus has been on both the giving and receiving end of some of the most legendary diss tracks in hip hop, with high-profile feuds such as his 1997 beef with LL Cool J. Despite his reputation for being an elite writer, many of Canibus' performances leave a lot to be desired.
One such example is his J. Cole diss, titled "J. Clone" which was delivered in response to J. Cole praising Canibus, and even stating that he grew up admiring the rapper's artistry. Somehow, Canibus took offense to this praise, and responded on wax, deriding Cole for using his name in interviews. Fans seem to agree that belligerent behavior like this is what prevented Canibus from reaching the mainstream heights that artists like Cole have seen in recent years.
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5. Nicki Minaj "Stupid Hoe"
This track became a meme due to its simplistic writing, schoolyard insults, and grating repetition. Nicki Minaj was still relatively new on the hip-hop scene in 2012, prompting her to aim at legendary femcee Lil' Kim. Unfortunately, all this track did in the pop culture zeitgeist is reinforce the existing idea that female rappers cannot coexist. Luckily, the modern hip-hop soundscape has allowed women such as Megan Thee Stallion, Cardi B, Rapsody, Ice Spice, and many others to present a united front.
Nicki Minaj has also grown in the years following the release of "Stupid Hoe." In response to a question regarding her beef with Lil' Kim just a year after this track released, the Young Money signee stated "I don't have beef with anybody, let me just say that. Life is too short. Nothing is ever that serious."
4. Meek Mill "Wanna Know"
These days hip hop heads remember the Drake vs. Meek Mill beef primarily for the savagery of Drake's now-iconic "Back To Back." However, one track often forgotten in the conversation is Meek's "Wanna Know." This track delivers some of the softest jabs in diss track history, with Meek failing to win over any new fans in the beef, while also failing to impress any of his existing ones.
To make matters worse, the track resulted in a cease and desist letter from Vince McMahon and The Undertaker, due to utilizing uncleared samples for their WWE entrance music. Drake and Meek have since put the beef behind them, but this track remains a dark spot in the Philadelphia native's discography.
3. Nick Cannon "The Invitation"
Nick Cannon and Eminem have a long and storied history of dissing each other, dating back to a series of jabs thrown by Eminem on his 2009 album Relapse. On the album, Nick Cannon caught a number of strays after Eminem attacked his then-spouse Mariah Carey for denying rumors that she had ever dated the "Without Me" vocalist. For some unknown reason, Nick Cannon waited a full decade to clap back at Em, in a clear violation of the 24-hour rule imposed by the Drake and Meek Mill beef.
Cannon was no longer married to Mariah Carey when "The Invitation" was released in 2019, leaving listeners to question why he would even have the energy for this fight. Cannon released a flurry of tracks around this time that were interchangeably corny and unlistenable, with the Wild 'N Out host delivering painfully boring vocal performances each time. Eminem responded with a few punchlines on the Fat Joe track "Lord Above," while 50 Cent took to media outlets to express, "I would never respond to Nick Cannon... He is legendary corny, he's been corny forever."
2. Melle Mel "Kickback"
There's just something about Eminem that inspires terrible diss records. Proficient modern lyricists may avoid engaging in beef with Eminem because they respect his pen too much, or perhaps it's just dumb luck. However, Eminem has yet to face a genuine lyricist in his weight class. In 2023, hip hop legend Melle Mel came out of retirement to attack Eminem, after months of disrespecting Em's status as a rap legend in the interview circuit.
Unfortunately, his outdated sound didn't gel well with the modern hip hop landscape, making this track sound like a relic from the past that should have remained in the vault. Rhymes like "You look bad like a roach just crawled out of your book bag" leave listeners scratching their heads, while outdated jokes such as calling Eminem "Pill Clinton" only serve to make Melle Mel look like a dinosaur clawing for relevance. Mel attempted to retract the diss a few days after releasing it, claiming that the entire beef was some sort of performance art piece created to celebrate hip hop's 50th anniversary. However, that just came off as a tepid excuse to save face.
1. Insane Clown Posse "Slim Anus"
Topping this list is yet another diss directed at Detroit rapper Eminem, this time from none other than the Insane Clown Posse. Rather than taking the route of a traditional diss record, ICP decided to attack Eminem with a parody of one of his earliest hits, "My Name Is." In this song, the Clowns refer to Eminem as "Slim Anus" multiple times, which isn't just an odd stretch in terms of wordplay, it also doesn't effectively function as an insult.
Eminem responded to this record on the track "Marshall Mathers" wherein he accepts the nickname, stating "Slim Anus? You damn right slim anus, I don't get f***ed in mine like you two little flaming f*****s." Multiple lyrics aren't even adjusted from the original song in the parody, leaving listeners to assume that ICP simply isn't lyrical or creative enough to contend with the song they're making fun of. At the end of the day, this song is a failure at almost every level, making it one of the worst diss tracks of all time. It's at least worth listening to once or twice for a hearty laugh.