Last Thursday, Kanye West introduced The Life of Pablo to the world through a sold-out listening party / fashion show hybrid at Madison Square Garden. The event was unlike anything that's ever happened before: a collision of fashion and music to a caliber that had before been unfathomable. Listening parties don't take place in arenas, and neither do fashion shows for that matter.
However, when Kanye was done playing the album, there was a certain lyric that seemed to overshadow everything that took place in MSG. The lines, "I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex / Why? I made that bitch famous" seemed to be more buzz-worthy than features by Kid Cudi or The Weeknd, or the fashion line itself even. In classic Kanye fashion, his absurdities overshadowed his art, at least temporarily.
As we prep our review of The Life of Pablo, we have to shed some light on the lines that stuck out most to us. Here are the most ridiculous lyrics from Kanye West's newest record.
From "Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1"
From: "Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1"
"Now if I fuck this model / And she just bleached her asshole / And I get bleach on my T-shirt / I'mma feel like an asshole"
Kanye tweeted that he cried while writing the lyrics for "Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 2," but before he got really introspective on the track, he dropped this ridiculous little gem on us. It's an interesting thought though, and leaves one to wonder whether the same bleach used to clean butt-holes is the same stuff that changes the color of t-shirts...Life's deepest questions.
From "Famous"
From: "Famous"
"I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex / Why? I made that bitch famous"
Kanye must have known that the Twitterverse would have a field day with this one. He says that he spoke to Taylor about it beforehand, but Taylor's PR rep says otherwise. One of them is full of it, but either way, the line lives in infamy at this point.
From: "Famous"
From: "Famous"
"For all the girls that got dick from Kanye West / If you see 'em in the streets give 'em Kanye's bests / Why? They mad they ain't famous"
We all have certain feelings about our exes, and Kanye makes his clear a couple times throughout the course of The Life of Pablo. On "Famous," this little bit of absurd braggadocio is overshadowed by the Taylor Swift shoutout, but not enough to be left off this list.
From: "Highlights"
From: "Highlights"
"Sometimes I'm wishin' that my dick had GoPro"
In an alternative universe, the people over at GoPro are engineering a camera for the tip of Kanye West's penis. For all the freaks out there, would you buy this product? Let's say it retails at $199.99...
From: "Highlights"
From: "Highlights"
"I bet me and Ray J would be friends / If we ain't love the same bitch /Yeah, he might have hit it first / Only problem is I'm rich"
You know, when one is married with two kids, he usually isn't making statements like this one. But Kanye is anything but your typical father of two, and so he isn't above taking some shots at his wife's former home-movie co-star. And one final highlight from "Highlights": "Blac Chyna fuckin' Rob, help him with the weight / I wish my trainer would, tell me what I overate."
From "Wolves"
From: "Wolves"
"You tried to play nice, everybody just took advantage / You left your fridge open, somebody just took a sandwich / I said baby what if you was clubbin' Thuggin', hustlin' before you met your husband? /Then I said, "What if Mary was in the club / When she met Joseph around hella thugs?" / Cover Nori in lambs' wool /We surrounded by the fuckin' wolves"
Finally getting "Wolves" in CDQ means we can re-live these lines in high-quality over and over. Kanye has more than a few bars on TLOP that are direct references to his wife, Kim Kardashian, and here are some of the more outrageous ones. Yeezy basically compares Kim K to the Virgin Mary and wonders what Mary was up to prior to getting impregnated by the Holy Spirit. Maybe she too was making sex tapes? And that line about the sandwich is pure LOLs.
From: "I Love Kanye"
From: "I Love Kanye"
"What if Kanye made a song about Kanye / Called 'I miss the old Kanye' / Man that would be so Kanye, that's all it was Kanye / We still love Kanye and I love you like Kanye loves Kanye"
If Rhymefest actually tries to get his former collaborator admitted into some sort of psychiatric ward, these are the lyrics he ought to bring with him. By far the craziest lyrics on the album from a psychological standpoint, Kanye takes the view of a fan to discuss his views on himself, mentioning his own name a couple dozen times in the 45-second duration.
From: "Feedback"
From: "Feedback"
"What if we fucked right in the middle of this motherfuckin' dinner table? What if we just fucked at the Vogue party? Would we be the life of the whole party?"
Well you have to give it to him: these are some wild thoughts to have in the middle of a Vogue party. However, I have the nagging suspicion that Kanye isn't the only dude reading this that has thought of having sex right in the middle of the most inappropriate of circumstances.
From "Real Friends"
From: "Real Friends"
"I had a cousin that stole my laptop that I was fuckin' bitches on / Paid that nigga 250 thousand just to get it from him"
When we first heard this line on "Real Friends," it didn't really register. But after it's had some time to marinate: DAMN. Kanye got extorted by his own blood for a laptop, and ponied up a quarter million dollars just to get it back. He's actually kind of a class act for not putting his relative on blast on the track.
From: "30 Hours"
From: "30 Hours"
"My ex says she gave me the best years of her life / I saw a recent picture of her, I guess she was right"
Yeeeesh. Many have speculated that this line is about Amber Rose. It's funny in a mean/sad kind of way.