"Why the fuck would I have a bodyguard, if I look just like the mother fucking bodyguard" - Action Bronson
What is it about Action Bronson that makes people want to hop on stage during his shows?
Part of Bronson's appeal is he himself seems to lack any inhibitions -- his stream-of-consciousness lyrical style, his legendary performance antics, and his eating prowess evident in his corpulence all indicate that he is in touch with his most base instincts. To obey one's base (drunk) instincts and get on stage with Bronson, then, is to pay tribute to Bronson.
The cycle reinforces itself. For every fan that steps onto Bronson's turf, a seed is planted in the mind of 10 fans who hear about it. With venue security proving itself untrustworthy, he is forced to deal with the hooliganism himself.
That people -- primarily young white males -- actively want to get wrecked by Action Bronson speaks to his popularity. If they survive their foray onstage, not only while they become a celebrity upon reentry into the crowd, they will no doubt one day tell their grandchildren the story of their encounter with the great Action Bronson.
At any rate, here are 8 times Bronson wrecked fans onstage.
London
Location: London
Wrecked Rating: 7.9
Bronson was forced to visit wreckage upon an enterprising fan last week during his set at the Lovebox in London. In the middle of "Terry," the fan ran up to him from sidestage as if to rap along, but Action leveled him before he could achieve his goal, hitting up him with a couple jabs to the dome before tossing him into the sea of fans from whence he came.
NYC
Location: NYC
Wrecked Rating: 9.3
During Action's Mr Wonderful release party show at Terminal 5 in NYC, a fan interrupted him as he as he rapped one of his favorite tracks, the timeless "Amadu Diablo" off Blue Chips 2. With his auburn hair a droopy, sweaty mop and his shirt ripped down to his belly button, Action appears to be pretty hammered, and you know this fan is done for as soon as Action looks at him and drops the mic.
Punch
Location: North Carolina
Wrecked Rating: 10.0
Demonstrating perfect pugilistic form, Bronsolino straight up punches this blunt-wielding hipster in the face and the crowd goes wild. For a more detailed spectator perspective, here is the apparent artist statement of Gabe Collins, the person who uploaded the video:
"I don't have anything against hipsters or whatever, but that kid was pissing me the whole show. I'm so glad he jumped on stage to give Bronson his lil mosquito leg blunt. He got his shit wreaked tho.. He got hit so hard he flipped three rows back into the crowd. That boy found Christ in mid air. He got hit so hard that the inventor of bucket hats dropped his cane and gasped like yoda when the sith took over. Action pulled a sharkesha i'm not gonna front. That kid legit wanted to give him his blunt so bad that he forgot whose show he was fair-weathering at."
Everybody
Location: North Carolina
Wrecked Rating: 9.8
From the same set as the previous video, Bam Bam handles an unwanted stage rusher by hauling him above his shoulders and placing him in the vaunted Torture Rack before throwing him into the crowd. Mob mentality then sets in, with so many fans rushing the stage that Bronson's DJ gets in on the action.
Sort of reminds you of the "How many 5-year olds/miniature horses could you beat in a fight?" query. For Action Bronson, that number is ā. Below is the Bloodbath at Chapel Hill from two angles.
Santa Ana
Location: Santa Ana, CA
Wrecked Rating: 8.2
Action Bronson was confronted by a very drunk dwarf as he performed in Santa Ana during his Blue Chips 2 Tour.
Bronsolino was relatively good-natured about the dwarf's transgression, letting him dance his dance and work the crowd before picking him up by the belt and chucking him into the crowd. Moments later, the dwarf hopped back on stage a second time, but he had worn out his welcome on stage as Bronson wasted no time in hoisting the little man up above his head in the Superman position and firing him 10 rows deep.
Bronson would be a great shot putter.
Seattle
Location: Seattle
Wrecked Rating: 7.4
During a pit stop in the PNW, Bam Bam Baklava entertained the crowd with "The Symbol" until an adoring fan climbed on stage and went in for the hug. He got a hug alright.
Skip to the 3:40 mark to see Bronson lay down the thunder.
Florida
Location: Florida
Wrecked Rating: 8.9
It is a well-known fact that Florida is, for better or worse, the most ratchet state in the union. Bronson found that out the hard way yet another white male fan, feeling audacious after his 5th whiskey sour, hopped on stage as he treated the people of Florida to a show.
Bronson hit the perpetrator with a swift dose of vigilante justice, neutralizing him with a judo flip to arm bar combo. Ronda Rousey would have been proud.
Boston
Location: Boston
Wrecked Rating: 9.0
Bronson shows that he has nimble feet for a big man as he brings the fan crashing down with a devastating leg sweep.
Dated June 2013, this is possibly the first documented instance of Bronson being forced to fuck up a dude on stage. The first, but it would not be the last.
Long live Action Bronson.