Fantasia Regrets Suicide Attempt: "I Just Wanted To Be Away From All The Noise"

BYErika Marie25.2K Views
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Fantasia
She doesn't consider the experience an attempt to kill herself.

It was nine years ago when news began to circulate that singer Fantasia had been hospitalized following an overdose. The American Idol winner's rise to fame was well-documented for reality show audiences, but her troubles were also reported on in the media. There were rumors about tensions with her label, court drama with her boyfriend and his estranged wife, and financial struggles. All Fantasia wanted to do was share her gift of song with the world, but at every turn there were obstacles.

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The singer was featured on an episode of Behind the Music back in 2010 just months after she attempted suicide. "I didn't have any fight in me," she said. "I didn't care about anything. I just wanted out. At that moment I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with — all of it, all of that sh*t." She added, "I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle. I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can't accidentally take a whole bottle of pills."

Nearly a decade later, Fantasia's entire life has changed for the better. The married mother recently released her latest album Sketchbook and is currently headlining a tour with Robin Thicke, Tank, and The Bonfyre. On Tuesday, Fantasia sat down with the ladies of The Real and was asked if there was a moment in her life that she wishes she could change.

 

"Oh man," she began. After some careful thought, she answered, "When I tried to just get away from the world. Some will say commit suicide. I didn't think it was me trying to kill myself. I just wanted to be away from all the noise. If I could do that over, I would."

In October, Fantasia chatted with us exclusively and spoke about how far she's come. "I think [people meet me and] think, 'There's no way in hell after all she's been through, that she can be this nice," she said with a laugh. "One thing I will never, ever lose, is my humility. I will never, ever lose the fact that I'm just like you. I'm just like you. [The difference is] I just sing. I drive my own car. I shop for my own groceries. I cook my own food. Nothing will ever change about me."

 


About The Author
Erika Marie is a seasoned journalist, editor, and ghostwriter who works predominantly in the fields of music, spirituality, mental health advocacy, and social activism. The Los Angeles editor, storyteller, and activist has been involved in the behind-the-scenes workings of the entertainment industry for nearly two decades. E.M. attempts to write stories that are compelling while remaining informative and respectful. She's an advocate of lyrical witticism & the power of the pen. Favorites: Motown, New Jack Swing, '90s R&B, Hip Hop, Indie Rock, & Punk; Funk, Soul, Harlem Renaissance Jazz greats, and artists who innovate, not simply replicate.
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