Iguana Invasion Has Floridians Getting The Strap

BYMitch Findlay38.4K Views
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Iguana
This means war.
Iguana Invasion Has Floridians Getting The Strap
If the havoc wrought by that elusive "Florida Man" wasn't bad enough, imagine the damage done by a full-scale reptilian invasion. Such is the bleak reality many Floridians are finding themselves facing on a daily basis. Though not quite to the scope of H.G Wells' War Of The Worlds, US Today has confirmed that an Iguana invasion has taken over the Sunshine State. In response to the sheer plethora of Iguana apparently rolling the streets, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission has declared open season upon them, inviting homeowners to essentially get the strap™️, and ask questions later.  
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"The (commission) encourages homeowners to kill green iguanas on their own property whenever possible," reads the official directive. "Iguanas can also be killed year-round and without a permit on 22 public lands in south Florida." Clearly, the situation has gotten dire. In a report from ABC News, University of Florida reptile expert Joseph "The Croc Doc" Wasilewski expresses some of the possible ramifications of a world in which Iguana legions reign free. "This is a serious problem from many standpoints," he explains. "They will destroy agriculture, undermine roads, cause electrical transformers to fail, they can transmit salmonella and can be an FAA safety hazard."

Adorable and fascinating though they may be, it would appear that a declaration of war has indeed been issued. The Iguanas have yet to issue a response, though they have been known to move in silence.


About The Author
Mitch Findlay
<b>Feature Editor</b> <!--BR--> Mitch Findlay is a writer and hip-hop journalist based in Montreal. Resident old head by default. Enjoys writing Original Content about music, albums, lyrics, and rap history. His favorite memories include interviewing J.I.D and EarthGang at the "Revenge Of The Dreamers 3" studio sessions in Atlanta and receiving a phone call from Dr. Dre. In his spare time he makes horror movies.
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