Jay-Z spoke about his marital infidelities as part of the emotional detoxing that was 4:44, a stunning lyrical achievement that is a high-point in the rapper's career. However, during a recent Q&A with New York Times executive editor Dean Baquet, the 47-year-old rapper about the issues that led him to have an affair outside confines of his marriage to Beyoncé and, in the end, how therapy helped him put those demons behind him.
"I grew so much from the experience," he admitted. "[...] The most important thing I got is that everything is connected. Every emotion is connected and it comes from somewhere. And just being aware of it. Being aware of it in everyday life puts you at such a ... you're at such an advantage. You know, you realize that if someone's racist toward you, it ain't about you. It's about their upbringing and what happened to them, and how that led them to this point. You know, most bullies bully. It just happens. 'Oh, you got bullied as a kid so you trying to bully me.' I understand."
After he learned, through therapy, to respond to negative energy with understanding instead of anger, Jay-Z came to realize so much about what he had done wrong in the past, including how his single-mindedness was responsible for him having "shut down emotionally" when it came to his relationships with women in particular. "You have to survive," he explained. "So you go into survival mode, and when you go into survival mode, what happens? You shut down all emotions. So, even with women, you gonna shut down emotionally, so you can't connect. ... In my case, like, it's deep. And then all the things happen from there: infidelity."
Jay-Z also revealed that he and Beyoncé used both 4:44 and Lemonade as therapeutic creative sessions, helping them to deal with a rough patch in their marriage. Thankfully, they're stronger than ever, but at the outset, listening to the work each had created made for an uncomfortable experience. "[...] The best place in the hurricane is in the middle of it," he shared. "The best place is right in the middle of the pain. And that's where we were sitting. And it was uncomfortable. And we had a lot of conversations. [I was] really proud of the music she made, and she was really proud of the art I released. And, you know, at the end of the day we really have a healthy respect for one another's craft. I think she's amazing."
You can check out the full-length video that Jay-Z did for the New York Times' T magazine below.