Few other rappers have command of similes and metaphors like Pusha T. His ability to describe the same thing (selling drugs) in endless ways is one of the many reasons he’s among the best emcees doing it right now.
However, yesterday we learned that Pusha Ton’s writing skills are not limited to coke raps. The founder of the ad agency who worked on McDonald’s “I’m Loving It” jingle revealed that it was actually Pusha T who penned those now-famous lines, not Pharrell. So that got us thinking, what would have happened if King Push decided to dedicate his rhymes to the Golden Arches instead of the white after Clipse broke up?
It's Friday, so we decided to have a little fun with the idea. We picked out 10 Pusha T drug rap lines and re-imagined them as fast food rap.
Mr. Me Too
1)
"Pyrex stirs turned into Cavalli furs"
becomes
"McGriddle burns turned into Cavalli furs"
From "Mr. Me Too" on Hell Hath No Fury (2006).
"Who else could put the hipsters with felons and thugs / and paint a perfect picture of what sellin' it does?"
becomes
"Who else could please the mixture of kids and adults / and paint a perfect picture of me sellin’ McNugs?"
From "Trouble On My Mind" on Fear of God 2: Let Us Pray (2011)
"Hines Ward of the crime lords"
becomes
"Hines Ward of cash register drawers"
From "Pain" on My Name Is My Name (2013).
Nosestalgia
4)
"Zhivago tried to fight the urge like Ivan Drago, if he dies he dies"
becomes
"Zhivago tried to fight the urge, not to eat them world famous fries"
From "Nosestalgia" on My Name Is My Name (2013).
"Hear the scribbles of the villain (Yugh!) / This is drug dealer brilliance"
becomes
"Hear the cheers of the children (Yugh!) / this happy meal is brilliant"
From "Pain" on My Name Is My Name (2013).
"Only nigga to make hits and run base like A-Rod"
becomes
"Only nigga to make hits and flip cakes like Spongebob"
From "Only You Can Tell It" on The Wrath of Caine (2013).
"‘cause I’m Jack Frost / I’m selling that blast off"
becomes
"‘cause I’m Jack Frost / I’m selling McCafe Shamrock"
From "Intro (Darkest Before Dawn)" on King Push - Darkest Before Dawn: The Prelude.
Untouchable
9)
"I’m walking on water, I took the sandals off / Tell A&E to turn the cameras off”
becomes
"I’m walking on water, I took the apron off / Tell Mickey D’s to turn them fryers off”
From "Untouchable" on King Push - Darkest Before Dawn: The Prelude.
Crutches, Crosses, Caskets
10)
"I'm the L. Ron Hubbard of the cupboard"
becomes
“I'm the L. Ron Hubbard of the McDouble”
From "Crutches, Crosses, Caskets" on King Push - Darkest Before Dawn: The Prelude.